I've been doing a lot of thinking lately, maybe some of it unnecessary.
Naturally, I'm a worrier. My dad says that its a good quality because it shows that I care a great deal about things. I kinda, sorta agree, however, sometimes i feel like it hinders me. There have been moments when I did not take advantage of certain opportunities because of my worries and fears. I don't want that to happen this year, but i can't seem to shake my "what if" thoughts concerning graduate school. I don't know what I'm going to to do if i don't get accepted into the schools that I applied to, I don't have a plan B. Quite honestly I don't want a freakin plan B. I want to get into U of M again, and get my Ph.D. and be happy. I don't want any set backs. Two of the schools that I applied to are in Chicago...that's another issue. I'm very close to my family and have never been separated from them (yes, i've been away at school, but U of M was only 45 mins away) being in another state (granted only about 4 hours away) scares the shit out of me. There is no doubt that the experience of being on my own would make me a stronger person, it's just a scary thought, being away from my family and friends in another state full of strangers. Northwestern University if my second choice. I would be so happy and thankful if i get accepted there because its a very good school. The only thing I can do is try to think positively and just wait to hear back from the schools. and pray :)
I'll have to make a lot of important decisions this year, but life is full of important decisions.
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3 comments:
Interesting.... i have always noticed that you worry a little more often than the average person. It can be a good thing but like you said it can also hold you back. The things you worry about are unknown to you, for example going to school with people you dont know scares you. Try to look at life more positively instead of thinking aww shoot i dont know anyone in Chicago, just think about all the good things like making new friends getting to know a different city. The most difficult situations we get put into or place ourselves into create an environment in which we have to quickly adapt and learn. Life is about learning. If you have faith life will take you wherever you want to go. Learn to love that feeling you get... i get it too, its really exciting to be able to step into the unknown. :)
yea Cindy i gotta agree with Paulo on the fact that even though you might be put in a situation that may be foreign and uncomfortable at first, so many good things can come with that. and im sure youll do well no matter where you go. but of course i would love if you stayed round here so we can hang out some more, and your fam im sure to. but i believe that everything happens for a purpose. so if you stay here, or move to chi-town - itll all work out how its supposed to. ill keep you in my thoughts and prayers as you discover what your outcome will be :) paz amiga
thanks for the good words homies. they make me feel a lot better. que sera sera, right? right :)
much love
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